Im almost sure it is still night as my body feels like it has not slept in days ,I peak at the clock.4:45 am but I have no idea what day it is or what day it should be.
Huddle under my blanket as my eyes are not accustomed to the darkness surrounding me, my ears are alarmed to the crashing of the wind against the power lines banging upon the house forcing me to grab on tight to the fleece that cocoons me.
I hear doors opening and closing...my nerves are at an all time high of rubbing raw from the jumping against each other....who is in my house? I hear dragging footsteps moving softly across the floors and stairs ,rustling through the cupboards. my mind races ...what could they be looking for?I have no money and everything else isnt worth breaking into my home for..it must be the meds...thought I had locked them up..oh no , maybe I didnt...should I go look? bag them tag them and hand them over to the culprits? Or worse , could it be the apocolyptic zombies coming to quench their thirst for blood and brains?
I turn over onto my side so that my "good" ear can get a clearer sound as to whom may be out there..I dont want to know! I feel something shift in the bed beside me..OMG..its too late.( Ive watched too many horror movies to not assume the worst...what is making the sound under the blankets..its tormenting me,teasing me to look..On a normal day I am not afraid of creepy dolls, Freddy Krugers, Michael Myers or flesh wearing clowns but I think my day has come....Today wont be the day they take me to hell.I will NOT look!. I slowly let my legs find the edge ,being careful not to disturb the creature beneath the blankets..,I slither off the bed ,and as my face hits the floor I try hard to muffle my screams as I come face to face with an eyeless creature surrounded in flames.( fuk, the zombies have come for me).Its the fastest time I ever bounced up off the floor.I ran and locked myself in the dark and dreary bathroom. Shaking from adrenaline and fear I grope around the room looking for the counter..I know there is a flashlight in here somewhere..As the light shimmers across the mirror I let out a scream..what the hell was that? It was one of the scariest dishevelled creatures I have ever seen..Its eyes were black and squinty, almost lizard like, its hair was crumpled,ratted and matted..it was foaming at the mouth like it was hungry for flesh..I knew I had to get out of here..but what about the children? How would I get to them and keep them safe?
Think , think!! I try to remember the safety plans we always make for emergencies but one doesn't think of house invasion as happening to us...OK, I calm myself down...who do I save first ; the closest or the furthest away from me, the youngest or the oldest?? I cant decide..I decide to not decide and let chance take over. I crawl along the hallway and my hand reaches the first door....
Outside her doorway I notice the light is on... I hear someone! they are in there with her..my poor baby.Im scanning around for a weapon..they wont get her over my dead body...I reach around the hallway corner as I know there should be a bat there..I hear the rustling around in her room, the mumbling of words... I slowly start to turn the doorknob and the light switches off. .great, now they know I am here......
My whole being is on alert as I hear an alarm echoing through...OMG what is going on? What could possibly be happening? My mind files through all the local stories of doom and disaster of the past week..Cpl. Nathan Cirillo being gunned down while guarding a historical monument outside of Parliament Hill in Ottawa ,Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent who was fatally run over on Monday by a Nissan driven by Martin Couture-Rouleau, a Muslim convert whom the RCMP had investigated as an Islamic State sympathizer, planes being diverted, children missing, Isis group torturing and beheading of innocent people ,the Ebola outbreak ..the list is endless.
The sound is so deafening, the whole neighbourhood has to be under attack..is the world coming to an end? are my parents ok next door or did someone get them too? tears are streaming down my face as the thoughts of all my loved ones are gone...The doorknob turns..this it is I think to myself..do I lay here pretending Im dead or stand up and start swinging the bat? My legs wont work...I look up to face the dark and twisted 6 ft monster who has ruined my life, he is carrying a bag ,is it a garbage bag containing body parts? It walks over me without uttering a word..stomping down the stairs 2 at a time...it stops..Oh no its coming back for me..I'm not ready to go yet! It looks at me and whispers "Mom, are you ready yet? Im going to be late for swim practise"
I look at the creature, I am confused, where, who , what how? I pick myself up , walk into the bathroom, look into the mirror..my hair is a mess and my mascara has covered in my swollen tired eyes .I smooth it down and try to clean up my face. I walk over to open the bedroom curtains --what just happened? I bend down to pick up the hair clip that has fallen and come face to face with the halloween mask the boys dropped under the bed..darn little devils. I grab the blankets to straighten them out and see the 2 little munchkins snoring and tucked deep inside them..I dont know how they sleep through the 4:50 am alarm.
I reach for the little blue pills that are supposed to keep my life on track and this freaking thyroid disease under control.. I put them back..they are not working!
I grab the car keys and head for the door....we are going to be late again
And so another day of sleepless nights begins again........